Tales of a Jobseeker – Feeling Lost



Today’s blog post deviates away from my usual writing escapades and prying into the lives of other authors.

It’s more from the heart.

I read an interesting article recently on LinkedIn (my new obsession which has currently replaced Facebook) that was a pep talk for candidates who had attended interviews and been unsuccessful. Given that in the last three years I have attended eleven interviews alone for the organisation I work for, with a couple thrown in for good measure from external organisations, I felt this article had been written for me alone.

It suggests that maybe, just maybe – it’s them and not you.

It got me thinking.

After three years of making a continuous effort to change my job, mainly within the organisation that I work for, that it really is all them. I’m a hard worker who is normally so positive and enthusiastic, so maybe that’s my downfall as the department I work in probably won’t want to loose that.

There’s only so long you can work as a frustrated robot with no mental stimulation; a robot who constantly puts herself forward for development schemes and projects that get acknowledged, but never actioned.

It really does have me questioning myself. Three years ago, I was working in projects and performance in a job that had provided me opportunities to gain a PRINCE2 foundation and work on strategic projects with Senior Manager’s. I was flourishing, I was happy.

Now, I feel like that flower has had all her petals ripped from her and merely exists.

It’s so hard to stay positive all the time – exhausting to be truthful. What employer wouldn’t want a hard worker who comes in, does the job and goes home, with no hassles or issues.

I’m the first to admit my interviews may not be the best as I find it hard to sell myself, but I’ve tried, I’m getting better in fact. The last one I gave it my best shot. However, I was up against stiff competition and I didn’t have the high level evidence to support the role – mainly because I’m not given a chance to develop where I am.

As a result of this tunnel vision, I’ve come to the conclusion that perhaps I have been looking in the wrong places, applying for the wrong jobs.

Freelance cover

I’m a creative person, I love to read and write, paint furniture and design plans for our house and garden. Maybe I’m not the person for managing teams. I asked a friend to look at my LinkedIn profile and her advice struck a chord; she suggested I display more of my creative side. I’ve written a children’s book, I blog, I write novels and now I’m in the process of setting up my own freelance writing business GL Wilford Freelance Writer.



All this time I have looked at management, HR and performance roles. My skills are all transferable, in fact I have an array of them. But you’re not encouraged to look at what you do in your spare time for the role’s I have gone for. I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to look at what I can do and focus on that.


My parent’s dresser that I have painted, sanded and replaced the knobs (hand painted cups of tea bought off eBay) and painted in Autentico Almond (bought from French Grey Tales in Bedlington)

As I listen to Sixpence None the Richer – Kiss Me – it takes me back to being sixteen. How I wish I could shake that person and give her some career advice. I wish I had gone to University to continue with English or study media. But hindsight’s a wonderful thing.

It’s awful to think back to the blank canvas you have as a child and the promise that you can do anything and be anyone. Life seems to suck you in and before you know it you’re stuck in a work rut just to pay bills.

Unfortunately what I love doing doesn’t pay bills – yet. My writing has been purely for pleasure. But time’s are changing and I need to believe in what I do and use the gift that I was given.

Turning thirty has really made me think about my life and what I want out of it. And it’s not what I have right now. I work shifts; unsociable hours for a sociable person makes even the happiest of us lonely and depressed. I’m becoming institutionalised, I’ve lost who I am and the feeling that there is no way out is unbearable.

So from here, the only way is up.

I pick myself up, dust myself down and open LinkedIn; a world of opportunity out there at the click of a button.

I won’t give up – and that’s my advice to anyone who can relate to this post. Look at your strengths, whether it’s in the workplace or not.



An empowering person I follow on LinkedIn is Richard Branson. He really is a remarkable and inspiring man.

Richard Branson


If you have experienced this, I’d love for you to get in touch and advise how you dealt with it. Sharing a problem really is halving it and I already feel better for getting all these words out of my head and down on here.

Don’t worry, I will be back to my usual posts next week.

Love Missuswolf xxx




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