The First Week Back At Work After Maternity

Missuswolf First week at work after maternity girl in the air

Image credit – Pexels

We made it! I’ve got the Friday feeling for the first time in nearly ten months – and boy does it feel good!

Granted my Friday now involves picking up a Little Lady from nursery and heading home. As opposed to picking up the hubby and heading to the pub.

But what the hell. The fact is I’d been out the house by myself for nearly eight hours. Me Time 🙂

Well, the one thing I’ve learnt from my experience in my first week back to work is:

Organisation

is

key.

Packing bags and laying out clothes the night before equates to a smooth running morning.

Alarm goes off – jump in the shower. Snaffle a banana while I do my hair and make-up. Throw my clothes on. Get Ella dressed and then go go go!

All Christmas Ella was up about 6.15. Bloomin typical.

What does she do on the first day?

Lie in.

So you can imagine my horror as I tapped her lightly to wake her up. Pulling that wincey face as I braced myself for huffy tears.

None came.

Hurrah.

In the car off to work with my bag (yippee, I actually have my own bag. Although I need a new one desperately. Waiting to earn myself some pennies first) her bag and I even managed to pack a gym bag. Go me.

Arrive at nursery at just after 7am (Ella is there everyday from 7. Her finishing times vary between 1pm and 3pm. Pickups are shared amongst me and the family).

For those of you who have been reading my blog, you’ll be well aware how I wanted to go back full time. And how much I was really looking forward to going back to work (I never shut up abooot it).

Although I’m on a phased return at the moment, I’m still happy with my decision.

In fact, I’m so much happier all round.

For the first time in ten months I feel like ME again. The variety of going to work and slotting a few gym sessions around my phased hours has instantly made me a happier, nicer human being.

Although the snatched gym sessions are just a brucey bonus at the moment. Come full steam ahead I’m going to have to factor them into my evening time.

I’m not going to lie and I think it was blatantly obvious. I didn’t really enjoy being off with a baby. Gasp. Or does that sound too harsh?? It wasn’t healthy for either of us and this proves it:

Ella was never a snuggly baby and was so used to my presence that being with me was never a big deal.

Everyday this week I’ve had lots of snuggles, she crawls over to me and onto my lap, plays with my hair and sits on my knee. She pulls at my face and has lent in a few times for some kisses.

Likewise when I’ve walked into nursery and seen that unreal smile. A smile that lights up her excited little face while her arms and legs flail about. You can’t buy that feeling in a bottle.

Surprisingly there were no tears from either of us on the first day. I think we were both looking forward to our new ventures.

And she’s thoroughly entertained at nursery. Which is what I wanted and I knew she would be. They give her far more than I could ever give and I feel like she’s grown loads in the space of a week.

It wears her out.

The afternoon nap-time-battle seems to be slacking. In fact, she had one at 2pm today. 2pm. On my watch by 4pm I was stomping the beach front with the pram willing her to drop off. Selfishly so I could go back for a cuppa in peace obvs.

By bath time she’s rubbing her eyes and come bed time she’s passed out as soon as she’s tucked in (by daddy – the super-tuckerer-inner).

And me?

I’m on a roll.

I feel productive, organised, satisfied, motivated.

And happy.

Incredibly happy.

I feel like a superwoman.

My brain is gradually coming back to life. Granted my heads all over the place trying to work out where I need to be. But it’s nothing a good diary system at work and home isn’t sorting out.

Plus I’m learning a new job too. So the days are flying by. Dare I admit that I don’t even miss her??

Wait – that sounds harsh.

Of course I’m aware when she’s not around but I don’t get a chance to think about it as I’m so distracted. But it’s been healthy for me.

One day she’ll go to school five days a week so I wouldn’t see her then anyway. I think of it logically and that this is just good prep for those days.

What I said in T’was The Night Before … Returning To Work After Maternity is all true.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated tea, bath and bed time. A time I’d come to despise when I was off alone with her.

I’ve said it before and I’ve said it again. Happy mama equals happy baba.

I don’t want readers to feel like I’m preachy about this. Everyone’s family and circumstances are different. But if you’re considering a family and are very career orientated, I just wanted to reassure you.

That you can still be a good mam, in my case I already feel like a better mam, by going back to work. Hell I was even dancing around the kitchen to ‘Kids’ by One Republic with the Little Lady in my arms Wednesday tea time.

Throwing our heads back, laughing as I balanced her on my hip while marching up and down the room tango-style.

It’s a sight my OH came home to. And I’m sure he’ll agree. It was a much better one than having a baby thrown at him.

Happy Wife – Happy Life.

Love Missuswolf xxx

 

 

T’was The Night Before … Returning to Work after Maternity

Missuswolf mother and daughter in rocking chair

So here it is.

The night before I start my first day back at work since 11th March 2016 (I’m discounting the odd KIT day).

Since I joined The Motherhood.

Wow. It feels weird (but good!) to be getting into a routine of packing our bags and setting our clothes for the next day.

Something I’ll probably grow to hate. Or will I? I like being organised. Hopefully it will become autopilot and my future self (the tired head-less-chicken one in the morning) will thank me for it.

A nice bath. Early to bed to read a book and set an alarm.

Argh I haven’t set an alarm (bar the KIT days) since March 2016.

I’ll probably not sleep tonight for fear of sleeping in.

I know, I know. I’ve shouted from the rooftops how I’ve looked forward to this day. How I’ve longed to get back to work for some ‘me time’.

Ha.

It’s comical isn’t it? Who would’ve thought I classed work as  my time. 

But I do.

And I am looking forward to it.

However, do you know what I’m looking forward to the most?

Coming home to this gorgeous, happy little thing I’m proud to call my daughter.

I’ll look forward to having tea with her. To enjoy preparing it and then watching her eat it.

And bathing her. Watching her play with bubbles and the purple and yellow ducks. And the little spikey orange ball that lights up.

Splashing her little hands on the water and giggling every time she does it. Looking at me with those big blue eyes. Eyes that ask me to giggle back with her too.

Then wrapping her in her hooded towel where she resembles a baby Yoda.

Patting dry her utterly delightful skin.

Dressing her for bed.

Giving her a bottle of warm milk.

Reading her a story. Or two.

And then lying her in her cot. Her big girl cot which has been completely lowered now (when did that happen?)

Then tucking her in.

Actually, this is a daddy job as I don’t tuck her in tight enough. She’s like that magician that can escape being chained, bolted and dropped in water. Wriggles in all the right places and breaks free.

And do you know why I will look forward to all of this?

Because for nearly ten whole months, the monotony of everyday motherhood – looking after a small human by myself – takes it’s toll in the evening.

I’ve been too tired or sick of her by this time of day to actually embrace and enjoy these moments.

Gasp. What an awful thing to say.

But it’s true.

These moments tend to be flung at the other half. For him to try and embrace after his day at work.

So no doubt I’ll still be tired from my day at work.

But that’s just it.

I’ve been at work. I’ve had time away from her. She’s had time away from me.

So those moments that we are together.

Will be unbelievably special.

I can’t wait to see how excited she gets when I come home from work.

This festive period I’ve had the hubby on hand so I’ve had little breaks.

Little breaks like having a lie in.

Where I’ve surfaced and she’s already had her breakfast and her dad has dressed her. Dressed her like only a dad can dress his daughter – in obscure outfits that should never leave the house.

I inch my way through the living room door. As sometimes she’s crawling around right behind it (again – when did this happen?)

Then, she sees me.

With those innocent blue eyes.

Taking me in.

All dishevelled in my dressing gown and untamed hair. My make-up free face still puffy from sleep.

And she looks at me like  

I’m the most beautiful person

in the world.

Her  long little legs kick wildly.  Her smile lights up her cheeky little face and the excited giggles that escape from that tiny little mouth are breathtaking.

I do have a heart underneath all of this Warrior Mode.

And my god it explodes.

My little buddy for life.

I’ve come a long way in nearly ten months.

It’s been the toughest, hardest most emotional time of my life.

I’d go so far as to say it’s been the craziest.

I’m still me. Just a different version.

One that has been on a huge learning curve.

But I look back upon my time with fondness. There have been plenty of highs and there have been plenty of lows.

There’s also been some questionable parenting moments.

Like the time I couldn’t remember leaving chocolate in her cot, only to discover it wasn’t actually chocolate on her hand – that mammy had left the dirty nappy bag in the cot …

And as much as I’ve wanted this absolutely crazy time off to hurry up, I’ll reflect on 2016 in years to come as the year that not only broke me – but it also made me.

I’ve poured my feelings and frustrations into what can be looked upon as an online maternity diary. Like diaries, there will be some entries I look back upon and downright cringe, even regret. But for most of it, I’ll look back with pride.

That maternity leave not only gave me a chance to spend (albeit some frustrating and exhausting) time with this little human of mine.

It gave me the chance to take a step back from life.

To focus on something I’ve absolutely loved doing since I was a little girl myself.

Writing.

Last week, I watched the BBC film on the Bronte sisters To Walk Invisible.

And that was empowering in itself. Three women masquerading as men to get their novels published. What a significant piece of history.

A piece I want to share with my daughter. I’d like to think that by writing this blog I’m writing some history for her too. That mammy loved writing and her dream came true to share it with the world.

Missuswolf mother and daughter reading

Image credit to Pixabay

On the subject of the Bronte’s, I’m ashamed to admit I’ve never read Jane Eyre. Ouch.

I’ve downloaded it to my Kindle. I want to get into the routine of reading before bed again.

I digress.

This whole pregnancy and maternity experience has brought me new friends. Friends which some of whom I’ve not even known a year. But it’s felt like I have known them a life time. Who’ve been there on the toughest journey of my life. And that’s a strong bond.

Missuswolf Maternity Friends for life

Image credit: Pixabay

Then there are friends I’ve always had who’ve been on this journey with me too. Through the raw parts. Who have seen me at my worst and I have seen them at their best as they support and pick me up.

Friends who bring you pizza when you’ve got a teething baby and all you have eaten is a bowl of trifle for tea.

Those people are priceless.

And I thank them.

For sharing this crazy ass journey with me.

That’s Sisterhood for you.

That’s Motherhood.

Here’s to my next chapter. I’m off to make it a good one.

Love Missuswolf xxx